Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Portabello's Pizzeria & Sicilian Kitchen: "Ummm... no thanks, I'll pass... I've actually got plans and can't make it sorry man, really important stuff to do, you know like...

I had a good feeling about Portabello Pizzeria & Sicilian Kitchen, for some reason. It just looked like it would be good to me, but obviously I was just over-caffeinated and too easily fooled. The place had a lot of style and charm, though. It looked like it had been there for a while, and there was like, a really sloppy smattering of newspaper clippings taped to the walls in this haphazard fashion, with no real aesthetic sensibility or regard for any sense of order, and I just found it so endearing. But the pizza was super lame, so fucking whatever, they can have all the endorsements for Staten Island boxing gyms in the world and I still will never come back!

This slice looked fine and didn't smell bad or anything, but then it just wasn't good. The first bite had a big glob of sauce and the sauce was nasty. I was totally too sweet and tasted super chemical-y. Definitely not my thing. Luckily, the rest of the slice had little to no sauce on it! Unluckily, the cheese and crust sucked too. Or, the cheese was fine, I guess, but the crust was soggy and boring, and absent a decent sauce it really had nothing to offer me. Lew said, "if this was my only slice of pizza when I was visiting I'd be really bummed." And I think that's all you really need to know. He is not from here but even he knows that this pizza is lame.


Portabello Pizzeria & Sicilian Kitchen - $2.75
83 Murray St (W. Broadway & Greenwich)
New York, NY 10007

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