Thursday, August 27, 2009

Washington Heights Mediocre Slice Redux

Grandma's Pizza - $2.50
If my grandma were alive to read what I'm about to say she'd plotz, but I don't think Jews can make good pizza, although, granted, this is the first Kosher slice I've had yet. I read somewhere that Kosher pizza will never be good because the Kosher cheese doesn't have the same fat content and the tomatoes aren't good. At least we invented pizza bagels.

My review of this slice will be one sentence long but will sum up everything: it tastes like burnt Elio's.

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Charlie's Pizza
- $2.00
The crust looks amazing and this slice has great ratios. Otherwise, forget it because the sauce is waaay too sweet, the dough is so dry I felt like a guy in a cowboy movie stuck in the desert for a week with a mouth full of sand, and the crust, though excellently textured, was a major Flavor Vacuum. Worse than not tasting like anything, it tasted like less than nothing. Like a black hole. Kevin said this slice tasted like "diet pizza."


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Broadway Pizza - $2.00
Undercooked slice with too much cheese. The dough was rubbery and dense. Kevin pointed out that it was the same texture as the cheese. Blegh.


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George's Pizza
- $2.00
I almost want to go back here because the guy behind the counter was such a sweetheart. The slice here was the best of this bunch, which isn't saying much. The dough was incredible. Totally perfect. Biting into the crust was like biting into a soft pretzel or a bagel. However, the cheese looked like it had been sitting out all day, which tastes crappy, and tells me they're not really moving slices. To top it off there was like, no sauce on the damn thing. If I lived in this neighborhood I would try this place again a couple more times. It seems like they could've just been having a bad day.



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My kid sister just emailed me this excerpt from Fortress of Solitude:
When I was a boy I used to love pizza, and whenever my father took me to the pizzeria I'd order two slices. And I'd sit and he'd watch me wolfing down the first slice with my eyes on the second. I wasn't even tasting that first slice. And one day my father said to me, 'Son, you need to learn that while you're eating the first slice of pizza, eat the first slice of pizza. Because right now you're eating the second slice before you've finished the first.'

8 comments:

  1. fuck, colin, this is so good. so i live on 121st street now, and haven't sampled any of the pizza 'round here, but when you start getting down to this area, lemme know so i can join you and be your pizza buddy.

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  2. oh, thanks, Dani.

    yeah, of course I'll let you know.

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  3. let me know when you get to bklyn, maestro.

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  4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EAQdtKNoQY

    PIZZA'S NOT FOR BREAKFAST COLIN

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  5. You definitely had George's pizza on a bad day. In 2004 (2005?), George's was one of the best 100 Italian restaurants in NYC. That's out of something on the order of 5,000, making it 98 percentile. When fresh, the pizza is terrific. Go back!

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  6. Agreed. George's has its days, but it's one of the better pizza slices left on the island of manhattan when George is feeling it.

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  7. I just heard you on Joan Hamburgs show this morning. You should try George's Pizza in the Heights on 181st St again! Although George is Greek, he makes fantastic pizza!! Perhaps you were there on an off day?? I worked near George's for over 25 years...unfortunately I cant find anywhere near my town in Bergen County that comes close to his pizza (or calzones...or hot heroes). Try it again, it will be worth your time... and no, I'm not a relative! Looking forward to your next adventure... the Pizza Diet, good luck! RM

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  8. I have lived in the neighborhood for five years and have passed by George's a hundred times. Finally went in for a slice today and was thoroughly impressed. Delicious!

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