Monday, December 6, 2010

Artichoke: "This is delicious but it is not meant for me."

Every time I tell a Time Out NY-reading, condo-dwelling, truffle eater about Slice Harvester, they ask me what I think about Artichoke, because they read about it in the Times or on some food blog and heard it was the best new shit. And every time they ask me I have to tell them, "I dunno." Because I hadn't gotten there yet. And now I have and I had their "margherita" slice or whatever, which is not the artichoke slice, which I hear is just to die faw, but fuck it, whatever, who cares?

This pizza is delicious. It definitely wins the prize for the Best Quality Ingredients of any slice I've ever eaten. And it's put together really expertly. And the dough is really well made! It's fucking awesome. But it's not a New York Slice, (and I know it doesn't claim to be), and it costs $4. This is like, pizza for someone in a different economic bracket than me. This pizza is for people with real careers and children, or maybe it's pizza for jetsetting tattoo artists who get flown to London to draw pictures on Russel Brand's belly or the guy from Prodigy's feet or whatever, or for models or something. The point is, the slice at Artichoke was perfectly delicious, but I kind of felt like I was in someone else life. Like, it just didn't feel like it was for me. Oh, and the crust was unpleasantly brittle, but it was also so delicious, so who knows? As you can see, this slice confused the hell out of me.


Artichoke - $4.00
111 MacDougal (at Carmine)
New York, NY 10014


  1. Its a slice for the Striving Class.

  2. If there's such a thing as reverse snobbery, you're the poster child. Why not open your mind to the fact that affluence does not automatically make someone a whiny, entitled jerk as you imply, and that lack of affluence doesn't somehow make you superior and more "real" if that's the right word.

  3. I would have to have A kid to have ANOTHER kid, you ding dong. And of course I'm grouchy, that's my shtick!

  4. To the reverse snobbery snob,

    Surprise... food is politics and a four dollar slice does equate to a bit of a puzzle for most of us.

  5. "To the reverse snobbery snob,

    Surprise... food is politics and a four dollar slice does equate to a bit of a puzzle for most of us."

    Response: I was referring to the
    contempt shown in the reference to "Time Out NY-reading, condo-dwelling, truffle eaters" and the mocking use of the phrase "just to die faw".

    That's not about a $4 slice. It's about the author's look-down-your-nose attitude at people he obviously deems himself superior to. Snobbery.

    Setting that aside, I love the reviews and think this site is great.

  6. "Just to die faw" is actually used affectionately and is simply a reference to My People, you bozo! "6,000 years of glorious tradition from Moses to Sandy Koufax." I consider your inability to discern that an intolerable act of antisemitism, which is even more abhorrent this close to Hannukah. Someone call the Southern Poverty Law Center on this guy!

    As far as your other remarks, I am quickly learning that you "condo-dwelling, Time Out New York-reading truffle eaters" are one of the most hyper-defensive, insecure segments of the population I have ever come across. Learn to take a joke!

  7. It's me again - is it OK to be hyper-defensive and insecure even though I rent, only read TONY once in a dentist's office, and am not absolutely sure what a truffle is?

    Just kidding, bozo.

  8. Southern Poverty Law Center!! HAHAHA! Good one slicey. I had not pegged you as a MOTT.

    PS, You don't know what a truffle is???? I Had a bowl of white truffle risotto at the four seasons restaurant today. $150 a portion. And it was just an appetizer!!

  9. I have a friend who makes artichokes pizza out to be some kind of gift to New York or man kind for that matter and being from here I say its just ok. I found my self getting sick from eating more then one of there crab cake slices and their artichoke slice was disgusting and soupy. People who live around that place are think everything is the best or to die for and I just want to slap the moron out of all of them. Your loving friend, Nick D

  10. I hate truffles, both the fungus, and chocolate kinds, and my guess is that this place uses really acidic tomato saice/

  11. Their margherita is easily one of the best tasting slices I have eaten in NYC, and one of the very best Sicilian squares I've had anywhere, but it is a little out of balance perhaps?

    I equate this slice to something like a Belgian Trippel or a Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Ale...I love to drink those kind of beers from time to time, but they are just too heavy for me to want to drink them as a more regular "everyday" beer.

    The crust tends to be a tad overcooked and a little dried out in the crumb, but the combination of that sauce, cheeses and basil is pretty damned delicious....albeit salty enough that it pummels my tastebuds and they go kinda numb after about 3/4 slice. How anyone eats more than one slice is beyond me.

    The artichoke slice on the other hand is blah...and more blah. --pizzablogger