Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Vic's Pizza: "We are entering the city's Picture Perfect Pizza Parlor district."

Last week I went out eating pizza with my friends Meredith, who is a famous pizza pal, T-Bone, the singer of a notorious local band, and my friend Logan a true American weirdo who I have met over and over again all over the country.

Our first stop was Vic's Pizza on Essex. It's not too much to look at from the outside, but once you get in there's great music playing and a bevy of wonderful hand drawn signs.

There was also a Ms Pacman machine that T-Bone was quick to play.

This place is totally adorable and I'd want to be here for hours if the food was any good! Sadly, the pizza was a fucking bummer.

This base of this slice was the texture of cardboard. It seemed like that might be its only flaw for the first few seconds of the first bite, but then the flavor of the sauce set in. It was like, this slow motion ketchup tidal wave in my mouth. The time it took to set in makes me think of that Heinz commercial with Joey from Friends where he pours the ketchup off the tenement roof and then winks at a babe after he catches it on his hotdog. Except instead of a hotdog stand on that sidewalk imagine you, laying prone on the ground, bound by your wrists and ankles as if to some kind of medieval torture device and then the ketchup just falls all over your face like water torture. Ugh. The crust was flavorless. The ratios were all wrong. T-Bone was busy playing Ms. Pacman, but he walked over at one point, took a bite and said, "too soft and gooey inside. Not very tasty. I don't like it."


Vic's Pizza - $2.25
51 Essex St (Grand & Hester)
New York, NY 10002

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