I was really excited the other day to meet my dear friend Nate and hang out with him and eat a few slices. He and I have been friends since we were like, 15, and aside from my friends Ace and Carly, there is no one I'm that close to who I've been friends with longer. Nate is really smart and when I was younger it made me feel threatened, but now it is something I really love about him. He also has an amazing capacity to be a TOTAL BUMMER and naysay the shit out of everything, so I was really looking forward to him shit-talking pizza with me for an entire afternoon. So I wasn't totally disappointed when our first place, Hana's, turned out to be a Kosher joint.
This place was kind of happening. There was a pretty sizable number of customers, and everyone seemed to be ordering the pizza, despite the tantalizing buffet visible. (Nate: Ewww. Look at those falafel balls. Me:... Nate: They look so dry. Can you imagine actually EATING that?) But I'll tell you plainly, the pizza here did not look so bad for Kosher pizza.
Obviously you can see some problems. Like, the way the cheese is peeling off the very tip in a solid sheet makes me think of a drawing of a kid peeling all the skin off his face which I may be imagining, but I think might be a drawing my friend Tamara made, or like, something from Ren and Stimpy. Real skin doesn't flay the way it does in wild drawings by my weird friends, and real pizza cheese should flop around in a solid mass. Nor should it drip like molten lava, but that is neither hear nor there regarding this slice. After his first bite, Nate said, "it feels almost like there's a carpet on this pizza."
The slice had the usual kosher pitfalls: cheese didn't taste AWESOME, sauce was slightly weird, crust/dough was crunchy without any give so it felt like cardboard. However, all that said, this is the best kosher slice I've had so far on this old journey of mine, so that's saying something.
Hana's Pizza - $3.00
1376 Lexington Ave
New York, NY 10128
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