Thursday, November 12, 2009

Rigoletta Pizza: "This did not feel good in my mouth."

Yo, this place is faaaaaaancy! This is just straight up not the world I live in. I am not passing judgment on the aesthetic, but more the culture of irresponsibility the aesthetic implies. Plus I want my pizzeria to look like a fucking shithole. Whatever, sometimes things look cooler when they're not all sterile. However, if there's one lesson the rest of the world can take from the totally yuppie Rigoletta Pizza, it's offering rad condiments:

I'm not sure what that second one is, although it looks like some kind of chili oil, but that bowl all the way to the left is totally just olive oil with a bunch of garlic and basil floating in it. Now let me say, so no one gets the wrong idea, that any slice that NEEDS this stuff is probably not a worthwhile slice, but man, dipping half your crust into some sweet-ass garlicky oil is awesome. That said, the folks here could probably learn a thing or two about slice construction from just about anywhere else.

Slice looks good, huh? The dough was a perfect crispness, which leads one to believe that it was cooked pretty expertly, and the cheese had a pleasant viscosity which implies that it was not totally cheap crap. And it probably tasted good, that presumably not cheap cheese, but I couldn't tell because there was so much sauce! This slice was a total Swamp Thing. Which is a shame, because the sauce tasted good. There was just so much of it that I couldn't taste anything else and it made the slice no fun to eat. This pizza did not feel good in my mouth.

(I want to make some kind of sex or masturbation analogy for when you use so much lube that it doesn't even feel like sex or masturbation anymore, but that would be gross.)

Ultimately I'm going to assume that this may have been a case of a poorly made pie, maybe I'll stop back by and try another slice here, and I wouldn't write it off forever, but my slice here wasn't so good.


  1. That sex metaphor was important. I wouldn't have understood what you were talking about to extent I do now without it. Some pizza you don't need in your mouth.

  2. Interesting. I like Rigoletto (yes, with an 'o' at the end) a lot. But I do always prefer their white slices to the tomato ones. And maybe you've put your finger on why that is.