Thursday, December 24, 2009

Pintaile's Pizza: "A one way ticket into the scariest areas of pizza purgatory."

Despite the name, Pintaile's Pizza does not actually serve pizza. When I first looked at the pies sitting behind the counter I thought that maybe there was some gourmet shit going on, because the slices looked like they were maybe some kind of fancy gourmet crap. I figured maybe it would taste really good but be totally insubstantial.

Actually, this pizza is like, some fucking Lean Cuisine bullshit. This is pizza for people who are on a diet. Can you guess what Slice Harvester's official stance on dieting is? Fuck that shit, it's stupid.

Not only was this, like, some total horseshit "Pizza Lite," which means it was totally insubstantial and not fulfilling to eat AT ALL, it didn't taste like anything whatsoever. This is "pizza" for suburban moms who are on some faddish unhealthy diet, not for pizza lovers. Even though this slice technically fulfills all the requirements for being a piece of pizza, I would classify this as a notapizza.jpg. In closing: stay away from this weird pizza hell unless you are on a diet.


Pintaile's Pizza - $2.75
26 East 91st Street
New York, NY 10028


I'd like to wish a happy Winter Solstice to everyone out there on the internet. In honor of the season I am rereading The Master and Margarita and then I plan to reread Barabbas. And I am coincidentally just up to the part of The Alphabet Versus The Goddess where Shlain talks about the correlation between the rise of Abrahamic, monotheistic religions and the development of the Patriarchy which is totally seasonally appropriate. Heavy times.

But what I really want to do, is share the work of my new acquaintance Gill Henry Durant, who I met in Atlanta on Forgetters tour. The man is a genius and his annual Christmas spectacular is an Atlanta tradition. So in honor of the heavy times, let's all lighten our load a little and enjoy some Hotlanta Christmas Jams:

Check out the live video of "Candy Cane" to see some of the power that Gill brings to the stage. Homeboy is a musical genius.


  1. I know this means there is something wrong with me, but I love Pintaile's.

  2. I feel bad that sometimes these places only get one chance to not suck. But, like, not really that bad so whatever. I gotta stop posting here anonymously soon...

  3. Do you think that guy would go on a date with me? Love, Carrie Anne

  4. Thanks for the kind props!

  5. Worst pizza I ever had. I ordered something with veggies and it was totally dehydrated and devoid of any sauce whatsoever. I believe they closed down.