Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Pizza King: "At least the employees are exceptionally nice."

Walking into Pizza King was like walking into a best friend's parents house for the first time and realizing that, unlike most of the people you know who turned out alright in spite of their shitty families, this friend is who she is because her parents were such nurturing, loving people. What I'm trying to say is that it feels really nice and comfortable in here. The proprietors exude a kind of tangible warmth that is rare these days, especially in a city like New York where everybody is constantly on their guard. Sadly, their pizza blows chunks.

I've got nothing kind to say about this slice. There is no way I can spin it to make it sound even decent. This slice is horrible. Chewy, thick dough, canned sauce that tasted like it was sweetened with white sugar, plasticy cheese. This slice felt so HEAVY. It was horrible. I knew it wouldn't be good but I really wanted to like it because these people seemed so nice. But while they're nice, the world isn't and it's my duty to my readership to stay objective. In short, this pizza totally sucked. Boo hoo.

Pizza King
188 East 104th Street
New York, NY 10029


So, I got my computer working again, which is rad, but it seems a little bit tenuous. Hopefully it'll at least hold out through the New Year. Send vibes/cross your fingers/ask Satan for me. (Is there a Patron Saint or small local diety from a polytheist religion who tends to the well-being of tenuous but important appliances to whom I can make an offering?) I'm going to need a computer next week, because I'm leaving on tour with forgetters again and will thusly be updating from the road. Hopefully I get a chance to eat some horrid out of state pizza and make another hilarious travelogue. I was looking forward to possibly having the first issue of the S.H. zine finished by then, but it looks like I'll actually have to wait until the New Year. I'd rather not rush it and possibly sacrifice quality. But let me tell you, this thing is gonna be good.

If you live in or near any of these cities, come out and see forgetters, they are some of my best friends and, independently of that, a really amazing band. I will be the surly teetotaler selling their merch, so say hello if you want.
Friday, December 11: Brooklyn, NY (Market Hotel)
Saturday, December 12: Washington, DC. (St. Steven’s Church, Columbia Heights)
Sunday, December 13: Richmond, Va. (Gallery5) Matinee!
Monday, December 14: Charlotte, NC. (Milestone)
Tuesday, December 15: Atlanta, Ga. (Drunken Unicorn)
Wednesday, December 16: St. Augustine, Fla. (Nobby's)
Thursday, December 17: Gainesville, Fla. (1982)
Friday, December 18: Pensacola, Fla. (Sluggo’s)
Saturday, December 19: New Orleans, La. (Nowe Miasto) Early show.
Sunday, December 20: Memphis, TN. (Hi Tone Café)
Monday, December 21: Chattanooga, TN. (Sluggo’s North)

1 comment:

  1. An Atlanta preview for your tour:
    From drunken unicorn, where the show is, head east on Ponce and take a right (south) on Moreland Ave. Stop a few blocks down the road in the Little 5 Points neighborhood and eat at Little 5 Pizza and Savage Pizza. Savage Pizza seems to be more popular, but in my opinion is mediocre and relatively overpriced. Little 5 Pizza has the closest thing Atlanta - or really, the south for that matter - will get to NYC style pizza. It's delicious. Highly recommended. Say hi to Jessica while you're there if she is working. Keep going down the road past I-20 to the East Atlanta neighborhood. Take a Left onto Flat Shoals avenue. Stop in after a couple blocks at Reactionary Records, one of the better punk rock record stores I've ever been to, and then keep going to Flat Shoals & Glenwood and eat at Grant Central pizza. Again, great pizza, a small step below Little 5 in my opinion. At this point you can head east about 2 miles (I can't remember the exact directions anymore) to Mojo Pizza where all the punks work and say hi to everybody. Their pizza is decent - I find the sauce to be way too sweet and so will you, but that's the common pizza style in the south. Most southern pizza is similar to NY pizza but with sweeter sauce, no cornmeal in the oven, a little thicker crust, and they often half cook the slices before you order, rather than cooking it entirely beforehand and just heating it up. There you go.