Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Little Italy Pizza: "Pizza for Burning Persons"


Little Italy Pizza looks like if someone set up a rugged looking pizza shop at Burning Man. I feel like the pizzaman should've had huge plugs and a goatee, been wearing goggles and a brown leather apron, and should've cooked my slice with an oxy-acetyline torch. I mean, seriously, the inside of the place was covered in weirdo corrugated metal. The walls looked like the front of the Mesa Boogie Rectifier Juan bought in high school because Renee Blanks had one and then he returned it because he realized Blanks 77's guitar sound was corny and he just wanted a Marshall. Whatever. Whether or not the guitars on those records sounded corny or not I still saw that band like 50 Million times as a teenager because I LOVED THAT SHIT, so who am I to judge, now?


Regardless of whether or not you can "feel" that Burning Man aesthetic, this slice was barely more than mediocre at best. I mean, it's not horrible, and in the spectrum of shitty slices passing themselves off as decent, there are way more egregious offenders. This slice isn't shitty, but it's Barely Good, okay? A little better than average, but not impressive or memorable in the slightest. What're you gonna do? Maybe if I spent $500 to hang out in the desert for a week getting nonconsensually grinded on by Australian men with labret piercings at some mediocre watered down trance rave and this was the first slice of pizza I had seen in days I would be pumped, but as a Regular Joe stomping the streets of Manhattan, this just barely cuts the mustard.

Rating:

Little Italy Pizza - 2.75
401 7th Ave (32nd & 33rd)
New York, NY 10001

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