Pizza 33: "The beginning sucked, the middle was okay, the end kind of sucked."

Pizza 33 is not worth your time. The place is kind of yuppie looking inside, really sterile and Pier 1 furnished. The employees were really nice, though! Like, it looked like the kind of place where two dudes might get a sideways glance for trying to share one slice. Not the same kind of sideways glance you get from some of the mook pizzamen who are like, "you want me to cut that in half, then?" and I say, "no thanks," pretty nonchalantly, and then they're all "ooooooookay," and give me the high brow. There is like, really important Man Behavior that men are supposed to regulate in each other and that is their attempt at them trying to shame me because how could two dudes possibly share a slice of pizza together? But I will not be swayed!

Bah! Anyway, the way I expected to be made uncomfortable here was more of a snobby, looking down the nose, "these riff raff can't even afford their own pizza?" thing. But no, The dudes behind the counter were super nice! There was also this real bummer yuppie who looked like Kevin Spacey, wearing like, a pink polo shirt and some khaki shorts and a little sweater tied around his shoulders, just BERATING this woman he was with who looked like his mother. There is something a little wild about when people are willing to be totally aggro in public. This guy kept saying stuff like, "well if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, I'm gonna call it a duck!" and "we got bigger fish to fry!" in this really angry voice. It was totally shitty. If you are that guy, and you are reading this, you are a dickhead.


This pizza was REALLY orange and it tasted really orange. The first bites were too thin, didn't really have any sauce, and the cheese was cheapish, not horrible, but not good. Towards the middle the ratios got decent, like the crust thickened up a bit and there started being enough sauce, which was totally middle of the road. But then at the end it got thin again, and the crust was the texture of matzoh. Ultimately this slice just isn't worth it.

Rating:


Pizza 33 - $2.75
489 3rd Ave (@ 33rd)
New York, NY 10016