Wednesday, January 26, 2011

2 Bros. Pizza: "New best dollar slice!"

I have discussed this 2 Bros. at length with my friend, sometimes adversary, and long-overdue future pizza companion Andy Folk, in our ongoing debate about pizza and specifically regarding the 2 Bros. v. 99¢ Fresh feud. He always mentions this 2 Bros and I always say, "I dunno, Andy, I've never eaten at that one, but every other one sucks." I think I have to concede defeat, because this is the best dollar slice I've ever had, though it's far from Objectively Good Pizza.

Kevin Mahon of Famous Local Rock Band THE FORGOTTEN, who is my roommate and has already been a Pizza Companion, and Steve Powerballs of Infamous Local Rock Bands TURBOSLUDGE and SOMEONE AND THE EVERYONES, had joined me on this fine afternoon of moderate pizza consumption. "This feels like a fucking dish sponge," said Kevin as he lifted the slice to his drooling maw. "Yeah, but it smells pretty good," said Steve, who is vegan and thus was only smelling and not tasting. As it happens, Steve's nose is a more trustworthy judge of a slice's character than Kevin's hands, because this slice was actually alright. My notes say, verbatim, "This is pretty good! I am surprised!"

But it was a little too thick, though ultimately it was just middling and never quite crappy. This is totally okay for a dollar. I feel like I got my one dollar's worth. Because seriously, this wasn't so bad. So I have to give it to Andy. Although rereading our correspondence back then, I feel compelled to reprint something he wrote as proof to my family and loved ones that I am not the only person in the world who Can't Enjoy Anything:
i remember once i approached such a transcendental experience you describe... the pizza at 2 Bros that day was so good i was thinking this must be the best in new york, and two slices only cost me $2, i was feeling pretty good.

then i noticed st marks with its noodle shops, headshops, punk stores, and collusion of high and low culture looked a lot like the urban environment from blade runner! suddenly the pizza changed into the food-substance from a sci-fi dystopia, something with a dual nature with one aspect satisfaction of the bodily necessities of the masses and the other a sinister pacification of their desires to break free.
Luckily St. Marks Place provides the answers to the questions it poses, because as soon as I start trembling in fear of the oppressive dystopian future, I just strap on my bong gasmask and take a few tokes of The Mean Green and suddenly I am surfing on a pizza box windsurfer with a slice sail in a sea of marinara.

What bodacious times. Watch out for the garlic knot reef and there are hungry pepperoni rolls out today and they can smell your blood so be careful, brodog!


Dollar Slice Rating:

2 Bros. Pizza - $1.00
32 St Marks Place (2nd & 3rd)
New York, NY 10003

1 comment:

  1. 2bros pizza rap vol. 3

    2 brothers slice can never please, on saint marks place you'll catch some fleas from spangin', mangin', nodded out crusties, who aim their nose at your slice when they gotta sneeze. bam