Monday, January 31, 2011

Stromboli: "This place has bummed me out for like 15 years now."



Stromboli Pizza has been disappointing me for like, a dozen years now, although since they remodeled it's easier to discern that the place has no credibility. It used to look like this really legit greasy corner spot:


But since the renovations it looks like the below-average establishment that it is. It doesn't look like a pizzeria anymore inside either. Inside it looks like one of those yuppie-rustic restaurants that look like an airplane hangar. There was a giant flatscreen playing a Spanish overdub of The Tuxedo, though, so that was cool.


This slice is deceptive because it looks okay! And the sauce and cheese are totally fine but the dough is just SO BAD it brings the whole thing down into the shit. The ratios are even good! If they would just get their crust game a little tighter this place would be an A+. Firstly, the dough is sweet. That's no good. Pizza dough should be slightly salty and yeasty, but never sweet. Sweet dough is for dessert. Secondly it is a terrible consistency. I'm thinking this is because they don't let it rise adequately, because the dough is really brittle and has the texture of corrugated cardboard.

  
Thirdly, this is a total screen crust, as it is imprinted with that mark of the most unprofessional pizza makers. And Stromboli has been on that corner for ages, so they have no excuse for not having learned how to make a decent slice yet. Finally, the crust is tacked on and there was this weird uncooked strip between the slice and the crust that looked like a 90s pornstar tan line. Ultimately, this place is a huge YUCK.

Hopefully Cory will post a comment about the time he freaked out on mushrooms in the bathroom when he was a teenager, because if I remember, that was a funny story.

Rating:

Stromboli Pizza - $2.75
83 St. Marks Place (at 1st)
New York, NY 10003

3 comments:

  1. This place used to be one of my favorite places, but you are absolutely right. Something happened to their crust (at around the same time they renovated) and it's never been the same. The cheese and sauce evoke memories, but the crust just ruins the whole experience.

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  2. stromboli's wins my vote for best in the city and i'm pretty picky.

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  3. This used to be my favorite pizza place when I was a kid in the late 80's and early 90's. Then they changed. It started to suck right around the time the other stromboli's opened up. It is related. My grandma worked at the old lithographers union and we used to always go there. Why does it suck so much now?????

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