Monday, October 12, 2009

Maria's Pizzeria: "Don't trust any business that spells 'espresso' with an X."

Maria's. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that most of the pizza this week was good two entries ago. This place was the pits.

At only $2.00 a slice, it's still totally not worth it to eat the pizza here. The cheese tasted like plastic, the dough needed salt and the sauce tasted like corn syrup.

Johnny said, "it's like a piece of cardboard that someone jizzed on." Seriously gross. I would probably prefer to eat the piece of cardboard. BOOOOO.

Maria's Pizzeria
886 Amsterdam Ave
New York, NY 10025


  1. or coffee with one E.

  2. Thats sound advice. Just looking at it - eeeeeek!

  3. whatever you say, you trust fund having highrise living mother fucker. 1500 dollar a week allowance for pizza, you ritzy fuck!
    suck an ass, fuckface!
    the one who can not eat a pizza without having a diarheeal attack.

  4. or cappuccino with one p...

  5. Hey guy,

    I actually make like, $300/week on a good week working at a diner, not that my dire finances should have any bearing on my ability to judge the decency of a slice of pizza. But how about you come back when I'm working and talk all the shit you were talking yesterday to my face.

    Fuck you.

  6. hey guys,

    to quote Michael Steele, head of the RNC...Can we all get in the room and have a Rodney King moment?"

  7. i will give you a dollar if you update this shit already

  8. i was really enjoying this blog, then i made the mistake of reading the comments by this anonymous asshole. (i, too, will remain anonymous, just for the sake of not sharing my identity.) i'm disheartened that just some schmuck feels the need to reply to this guy. ignore this oaffy asshole! don't reply to him! who gives a rats ass how much you make? not me. i want to know about the pizza. my advice is to moderate his comments out. if i stopped to listen to every anonymous prick on the internet who cuts people down on blogs or youtube for their kicks, i'd die of assinineness. (not a word, spell jerks!)

  9. Friendly Anonymous Stranger,

    The thing is, moments after I read that comment and decided not to respond to it, I was talking to my good friend and coworker Chuck, who told me that some dude had been in the diner we work at talking about how I live in a high rise and blah blah blah.

    Anonymous internet shit talking, that I can handle, but this jerk was at my job talking really loud about shit that a. isn't true, and b. isn't his business in the first place. So my response was not so much to the comment on the blog as the real life shit talk, which is totally untenable.

    The Generally Peacable Slice Harvester