Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Mike Due Pizza: "I think John Carpenter made this slice."

Mike Due Pizza is another place that I have often puzzled over. There is something about the font on the facade of the building that I am just totally distrustful of. I can't really begin to explain why, but it is simply not a place that instills me with courage and faith in their ability to craft a decent pizza. The innards of the restaurant are similarly sterile, though somewhat less offensive. This just seems like one of many bland midtown eateries.

The slice they serve at Mike Due is about as boring and bland as the front of the establishment, though slightly more repugnant. Mike said that the slice tasted "like if they made a pudding flavor of microwave pizza. I thought it looked malnourished, and it reminded me of that insipid little bedridden jerk who never goes outside from The Secret Garden. He was such a little shit and I hate him so much! A brief aside, that guy is named Colin, and when I was a wee lad and my Masterpiece Theater loving mother took me to see the Secret Garden in the movie theaters I was FURIOUS because the first movie character I had ever seen with the same name as me was such a wretched little shit. I think that might've been how Mike felt about this slice.

The whole thing was just one big, bland blob. Like, it was almost impossible to distinguish the texture of the dough from the texture of the slice. The sauce clumped up like horror movie blood and was that same synthetic red, and the cheese was the cheapest crap around. The actual crust was billowing and dense, totally unappetizing and undercooked. This slice is really pretty damn awful.


Mike Due Pizza - $2.50
388 3rd Ave (at 25th)
New York, NY 10016


  1. Even the Baruch kids down the street don't go here.

  2. Please disassociate John Carpenter with this awful slice.

  3. I anonymously agree with Anonymous.