Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Original Roy's: "I fall to pieces..."

I was very charmed by the name of Original Roy's, but everything about it sucks. It sucks to be in there, the pizza sucks, everything is lame. Actually, there was this really tough teenage girl who told off these two dudes and she was cool. I don't think she made the pizza either, or decorated the place, so I am not even a little mad at her. She is okay.

I will talk about this pizza a little, but mostly I am just going to show you pictures of how badly it fell apart before I had barely even eaten any of it.

When I tried to lift my slice up off my plate, a sinkhole developed in the top left quadrant and started sucking the cheese and sauce down it. As a kid I used to think it was really funny to fold my slice horizontally, bit two holes in it, hold it in front of my face and pretend to be Pizza The Hutt. That shit wasn't really cute then and it's definitely not cute now when my pizza decides to forcibly do that shit.

And look what happened when I picked my slice up:

The crust was flimsy, the sauce was watery, the cheese was cheap as fuck. Ryan and Aron's slices didn't fall apart but they still sucked. F the place foreva.


Original Roy's - $2.50
154 8th Ave (17th & 18th)
New York, NY 10011


  1. You hated it. Bad sauce, bad cheese, terrible crust. Got it. Buy why is it 2.5, when Mezza Luna was 1.5?

  2. Thomas,

    You should assume that anything under a 4 is basically inedible, and at that point we are just determining to what degree the slice is disgusting. The bottom line is, that slice at Mezza Luna was horrendous. This one was pretty bad, but I was mostly just mad that it fell apart. If it had stayed together, it would've been better than M.L. by a long shot.

    Like, a 2.5 is better than a 1.5, but a 2.5 still sucks.