Thursday, May 5, 2011

Gino's Pizza: "One small bite for man, one great belch for mankind."

Gino's Pizza is in this totally weird half-basement on a strip of stores that are all in totally weird half-basements. Because of this, all the awnings on this block of Catherine St seem really low, and walking to Gino's, Greg, Alex and I felt like giants, which was cool! If you are short and don't like it, walk around on this block for a bit and you'll feel huge! (Or 'yuge' as my father would say!) And if you decide to stop in for a bite at Gino's, which I wouldn't recommend but I also wouldn't necessarily advise against, you will notice the saddest pizza counter in all of New York City.

Luckily, as the sign said, that crummy assortment of "food" is actually all just "sample's" and it's not for sale. They apparently keep the real pizza, which is regular size despite what that tiny, solitary frisbee of a pie might lead you to believe, underneath the counter for some reason.

I showed this slice to Greg and Alex and asked them to tell me the first word that comes when looking at it. Alex was silent for a while, and then finally told me, "it's less of a word and more of a general uneasiness." Greg said, "it sort of reminds me of the surface of the moon." And this slice is somewhat terrifying and alien. The taste of this slice is defined more by an absence of flavor than any defining characteristic. It tastes like a lack. This is that mysterious substance known as anti-pizza. And it extended everywhere. The bulk of the slice had a slightly unpleasant sweetness and then NOTHING. The crust was all texture and no flavor. There was an overall frozen quality to this slice that wasn't altogether unpleasant. In fact, we all kind of liked it. At one point I took a bite and muttered, "at least it's inoffensive." And Alex replied, "yeah, I mean, I'm not mad." But it wasn't good either. It was just nothing.


Gino's Pizza - $2.00
81 Catherine St (Moore & Cherry)
New York, NY 10038

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