Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Unnexceptional Upper West Side Pizza Part 1

Daniello's - $2.50
70 W 95th St
New York, NY 10025


This place was the best of these three by far, though as you'll soon see, that doesn't mean much. The cheese and the crust on this dude were fine, but there was a distinct lack of sauce. I'm pretty sure I mentioned my preference for understated sauce in a previous post. The kind of sauce that one doesn't necessarily notice as present, but would notice if it was missing. Well, we all definitely noticed that the sauce was missing on this guy. To top this off, the slice was slightly burnt and it tasted like oven cleaner. The final slap in the face with Daniello's was that the bathroom was out of order and two of the three of us had to deuce.


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Mike's Pizzeria & Italian Kitchen - $3.27
656 Amsterdam Ave
New York, NY 10025

I just found out from the internet that this place is Kosher, which explains a lot. I forgot to take a picture of the outside of Mike's because it was POURING. Either way, check this slice out:


I have cooked at a catering company for years, and one of the notorious "tricks of the trade" (aka totally bullshit practices that don't fool anyone), is that if something comes out fucked up or wrong, it can be fixed by sprinkling a handful of chives on it. Mike's seems to have taken that approach with their pizza. It was burnt to hell, had too much cheese and the sauce was too sweet. They did have a spacious, comfortable and warm bathroom, though, where I took a leisurely dump and updated my facebook status to "poopin'."

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Perfecto Pizza - $2.50
2479 Broadway
New York, NY 10025


Half pizza-place, half sit-down Greek restaurant. Maybe the philo pastries are good, but the pizza sucks. Too sweet, and too much cornmeal, though the dough is a decent texture. Says Caroline: "Get this taste out of my mouth as quickly as possible.

6 comments:

  1. Dude--We don't come here to read about, nor do we care about, your bodily functions. What started oput as a fun read is now being replaced by some stoner nonsense that really is not cool. I would think you would want to draw readers rather than chase them away.

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  2. I have to disagree chek275, we come here, and keep coming back for Mr. Slice's humorous take on life. The Pizza all looks the same to me, and the places he goes all look ratty... I will never go to these places. But when I need a little pick me up, I steer the old browser over to Slice Harvester to see whats up. So Chill!

    btw, I always take care of business at home..

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  3. chek275
    Me thinks you may be a bit, how should I say this? Anal retentive? Slice did not really go in too much detail about his bodily functions. Merely mentioned that he needed to perform one, and luckily (for him) was able to. Why, many of the best writers have mentioned a need to relieve in their works, from Plato and Homer (not Simpson) to Joyce and beyond. Perhaps you should look inside yourself for why this post was so disturbing.

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  4. He's only responsible for writing it. You're the one responsible for having read it. Don't blame others for your own choices.

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  5. I would gladly join Mr. Slice for a sl(euce) if I ever need a good (but rowdy) tour of New York. You probably couldn't be in better hands. He knows where to go for booze, pizza, and the bathroom. Is there any place else to go besides one to pass out comfortably?

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  6. as for perfecto...have eaten there throughout my childhood under its various names and non-greek themes. i have to say its certainly not great, but is usually halfway-decent...for instance, i've never gotten a slice there that looked like the one in your picture. just sayin, when you're dealing with small-n samples it hard to distinguish the outliers...

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