Thursday, July 22, 2010

DELI LOTTO 99¢ PIZZA Slice: "I have no idea what this place was actually called."

I was personally very torn about whether or not to eat here, because I've banished "Pizza Delis" from the Slice Harvester Kingdom, but I also need to make an accurate assessment of where the best dollar slice is! So we went in.

This pizza wasn't horrible, nor was it especially good. Eliza said, "I guess if I only had a dollar and I was hungry I wouldn't be that mad about this." Although BBC was visibly angry with every bite he took. There is nothing really worthwhile to say about this slice. It wasn't good. Whatever.

Across the street was a rather garish awning for "Deno's Party House USA," a bikini bar. I had never heard of a bikini bar, and I thought it was a bar where you could go in wearing a bathing suit and maybe they like, put sand on the floor. Like that weird Midtown bar inside a pool that all the punks used to sneak into, except without the pool. But Eliza told me that it's actually a bar where all the patrons are wearing normal clothes and the staff have to wear bikinis. Woah, weird.

Luckily, it was closed for good. I hope that if anyone found it to be a positive work environment, they have found a new place of employment, but for some reason I doubt this was a nurturing, sex-positive place to work and I bet it was more of a total shitty oppressive bummer. The awning is undoubtedly really cool, though.

We noticed on the window that they advertised "WI-FI ACCESS". Can you imagine being the kind of fucking total scumbag yuppie fucking shitbreather who works in this neighborhood and then afterwards comes to Deno's in your $2600 suit to sit around and drink Mai-Tais served to you by struggling actresses wearing bikinis because they can't make their rent while you are sitting there on your laptop nonchalantly slamdunking the Henderson account? I am getting mad just thinking about this. Sick fucking society, I'll tell you.


On the Dollar Slice Scale:

DELI LOTTO 99¢ PIZZA Slice - $1.00
803 8th Ave (30th & 31st)
New York, NY 10001


  1. Almost nailed Deno's, but it wasn't struggling actresses that worked there. The bartenders were mostly Eastern European girls fresh from their home country. (Got dragged in by the owner one night as I was walking by. It was 100 degrees in there.)

  2. you forgot to mention that you can get a colonic on the second floor of Deno's party house usa.

  3. I think being coerced into leaving your village under the auspices of coming to a land of opportunity only to end up having to prance around in a bikini in front of entitled dudes like you for meager pay trumps installing fucking insulation in an attic, you crybaby.

  4. Uh.. look Salami Harvester.. I know if Deno's had Russian GUYS in G-STRINGS you'da been there all fuckin day but that's beside the point. As a feminist, I am offended that you think these very bright Russian women would fall for that ruse! And what a cliche! Do you write Lifetime movies of the week!?

  5. Oy gevalt. Is this really the best you can do? Call me "Salami Harvester" and imply that I'm gay to discredit me? At least your first dickhead post had some kind of rudimentary critique of the class structure thrown in amongst all the "edgy" and "inflammatory" language. This is boring. You are boring me! And you still sound like a crybaby whiner. Get over it.

    Whether it were Russian guys or girls, I wouldn't be into staring at someone's ass unless I knew that they fully consented to the interaction, with no coercion, including the coercion of dire economics, influencing their decision. I have plenty of friends who do sex work in various capacities, and I do not begrudge anybody the decision to do whatever they want with their bodies. But I also have serious doubts that a place like Deno's was the kind of environment where that could be done healthily and respectfully, although I did leave room for that speculation in my original assertion.

    But seriously, this is boring. Let's argue about something else. How do you feel about Lebron going to the Heat? Or, enlighten me about your opinions on Shirley Sherrod's resignation.

    The biggest bummer about this interaction is that I wouldn't be surprised if you were one of my cousins.

  6. Deno's was a fantastic local bar, and girls were lining up to get jobs there, mostly while they studied English. There was no coercion involved whatsoever; i made several good friends at Deno's. I'm sad to see it gone. And sad that people can be so judgmental about a place they have never set foot in, based on a sign outside.

  7. I just don't buy it! And maybe the money was good enough that girls were "lining up" to work there (though I don't buy that either), but that is still a shameful indictment of our culture, if nothing else! And so far only dudes have told me what a swell place this bar was, yourself included, and assured me that the women there loved it. And you're not exactly in the best company, here. That one guy up there insinuated that because I am skeptical of this place I must be gay, and he implied that being gay is something to be ashamed of!

    Slice Harvester is against the patriarchy. Period. If you don't like that, maybe you should spend your time listening to Howard Stern or watching DVDs of The Man Show instead of visiting my blog.