Friday, July 9, 2010

New York's Delicious Pizza & Restaurant: "I don't have a problem with you cookin' me, but I do have a problem with you not cookin' me."

There's a lot going on with New York's Delicious Pizza & Restaurant that I am immediately skeptical of. For one thing, I find it questionable when a pizza place has to say "New York" in its name when it's in New York. Except I Love NY Pizza, which is awesome and hella grimy. But generally, that shit is not something I am fond of. Secondly, what is "American Coffee"? Are we known for our coffee around here? I would think that serving American Coffee would be something that you wouldn't want to brag about. It just makes me think of the bulk of the coffee I've had all over America, which is watery/burnt gas station sludge. Maybe if they said, "New York Coffee" I'd know they meant watery/burnt sludge with too much milk and sugar in it, but American Coffee to me is just ambiguous and weird in the same way that calling your pizzeria on 2nd Ave "New York's Delicious Pizza" seems like weird reaching. You know what it is, and I don't mean to sound xenophobic here, and like I always say, if I cross a line trying to be funny or explain an idea, CALL ME ON IT, but it just sounds... foreign. Like an exchange student or something from a John Hughes movie. "Yes, yes, super cool! Is New York's Delicious Pizza! We are havink American Coffee!" I don't know. You know what I mean? This is not like, some Fuck Foreign People rant, I don't even know what that means. Two of my four grandparents are Foreign, which makes me Half-Foreign, so whatever, fuck you, okay?

Oh and you know what? After all that Ben ordered a cup of coffee and they didn't have any. Come on!

And whatever, this pizza totally sucked. It was totally pale and bland! The cheese was cheap crap! The sauce may have been good but I couldn't really tell in the midst of all this garbage! And the dough? The Dough?! The Dough!!! Ugh it was the worst.

There was at least like, a half a centimeter of fully uncooked, totally raw, shitty, pasty dough. I was pulling strings of raw dough out from between my teeth. It was so disgusting. Like the most disgusting. If there was anything redeemable about this slice before, there certainly isn't now. Seriously. Horrible shit here.


New York's Delicious Pizza & Restaurant - $2.50
766 2nd Ave (40th & 41st)
New York, NY 10017


  1. every pizza place should have decent coffee, a good example being a Tony's Famous in the fulton mall's-famous-pizzeria

    my favorite there is a cold sicilian + hot cup of coffee. good window to watch out of as well.

  2. so this isn't really a comment specific to this entry or any entry but i figured the most fitting place for it would be in a bad review.

    first off let me say i'm a big fan of the blog. even though i no longer eat pizza (and hate myself for it everyday) i independently came up with the same guidelines as you which even include the attitude of the employees. i hope we both agree that ben p is a masterful preservationist though his pizza slinging career is now behind him.

    i'm getting in touch mostly to get your opinion on something. this really should require no comment, but it's been so consumingly maddening that i need to share. while on tour with emily two novembers ago we made a stop in cleveland and befriended this girl who took my label way more seriously than i did. be it as it may, she's been in touch since and is starting a tenure at the new school come fall. now the last thing new york needs is another buckeye, but she is of the opinion (or what would you call it when somebody is in denial of the facts?) that chicago pizza is the most famous and best pizza in the country. in fact, she had never even heard of new york style pizza! no amount of arguing and no number of facts could convince her that this is a real thing nor that it's coveted. i mean... philly has their cheesesteaks, rome has whatever kinda food romans eat, and new york has pizza (and bagels).

    i guess my question is this: she said that when she's feeling homesick she'll visit papa john's (which i assume is a cleveland-based chain, though that there would even be a need for any of the "big-three" in nyc is beyond reason) and i feel i could argue that any of these chains is inspired by new york-style pizza even if they forgo one of the most important features: the ability to get a slice! as insulting as it could potentially be to claim, would you say that any chain pizza place takes a note from new york?

    i mean...any town can say, 'we have good pizza here!' but they can't be right if they have to 'know a place'


  3. This place absolutely, definitely, without a doubt SUCKS!!! And it's not just the pizza - I tried two or three other things on the menu and they SUCKED too! I gave them more than a fair chance. You couldn't PAY me to eat here ever again.

    I wish whoever invented the word "Delicious" would sue them for misappropriating it for their name. You must've been in a generous mood to give them a rating of one.