Monday, October 11, 2010

2 Bros: "Take me drunk I'm home."

I don't know if dollar pizza has gotten tangibly worse than it used to be, but this 2 Bros. location totally SUCKED.  I can imagine people who have eaten garbage like McDonald's their whole lives not caring about this, or like, drunk frat dudes who are out in the meatpacking district on their way to the parking garage to pick up their Rav4 and drunk drive back to Massapequa, but this food is not suitable for regular humans.

This slice had a thin layer of what looked like plastic coating the entire surface and was so salty and chewy it felt like I was eating jerky. Tonie and I each took one or two bites and then I was like, "OH SHIT, GIRL, THIS IS INEDIBLE. I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW ANYONE COULD FORCE THIS HORRENDOUS SHIT DOWN THEIR THROATS," in a far too loud voice because I was so disgusted and I think it bummed out a couple of people around us who were trying to enjoy their pizza. They were probably Bodysnatchers, though, since they didn't seem phased by this slice, so I totally don't think it matters because they probably don't understand that what I did is offensive since they are only just learning about human behavior.


2 Bros. - $1.00
601 Ave of the Americas (17th & 18th)
New York, NY 10011

p.s. if you are not bummed about Columbus Day being a holiday you are a piece of shit.


  1. Just a quick note to say I love this blog, and while 2bros is absolutely like eating out a homeless mans arsehole. Soldier on brother.

  2. I appreciate the love, but I do think that one of my personal heroes, Samuel R. Delany, whose comic book Bread & Wine is about picking up and falling in love with a homeless guy, would be pretty bummed if I didn't say something about kind of lame nature of that analogy. You seem cool and I'm not trying to be uptight, but even homeless people deserve to get their arseholes licked.

  3. i worked at 2bros pizza stand and the man put a dollar in my hand i was like what do you not understand that goes in the tipjar, tip the man. i took his slice out the oven hot then said "to go?" and then he said "fraid not" put oregano? please! and the parmasean cheese i made him a slice that would appease, and then i ate it, yeah i ate it, i ate it, i ate it... uh