Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Maffei's Restaurant: "Meh-ffei's Pizza is more like it."

When Tonie and I walked in, Maffei's Restuarant was really busy and seemingly full of jerky customers. Like, everybody was complaining about something. Having spent a large portion of my adult life working in the service of somebody else and bearing the brunt of Entitled Yuppie Ire, my solidarity is generally with those being yelled at and my first inclination is to side with the poor dude being yelled at. I didn't even think about it, I just assumed that we walked into a pizzeria full of assholes.

The slice they served me looked decent enough, but as soon as I folded it over, the cheese flopped off in one cohesive strip. Total Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It made me think of Phil Hartman's character in the Mr. Belvedere Fan Club. Total grade A sociopathic psycho shit. And that was just looking at it.

I took my first bite of this slice, and lo and behold, it was ice fucking cold. So I says to the guy behind the counter, "what do you think about actually fucking cooking this thing?" And he puts it back in the oven.

While I was waiting for my pizza to get cooked, I noticed this awesome pizza clock on the wall, and directly below it, a plaque declaring that Maffei was a "Battle of the BoroughsTM Finalist as presented by Pizza Expo® and Pizza Today®. In case you don't remember Ben Trogdon's excellent contributor post from a few months ago, here is a description of Pizza Today® in his words:
Pizza Today is a trade magazine that focuses on the financial end of the pizza business, never actually writing about the taste of anything. They’re about cutting costs, building a pizzeria’s brand, and addressing issues like whether or not managers should hire people with facial piercing and neck tattoos.
He is pretty spot on. Pizza Today® is an industry magazine and is not actually about pizza deliciousness, as is evidenced by the fact that they gave this shitty place some kind of award. Even after the pizza came out of the oven, it was still pretty mediocre, although it was a lot better, and the guy STILL didn't manage to cook it all the way. Heave ho.

There were these cool pictures of this charmingly ugly baby, though:

This slice would've been like, a 5 if they had cooked it right the first time, and a 4 if they had cooked it right the second time.

Maffei's Restaurant - $2.25
688 Avenue of the Americas (at 22nd)
New York, NY 10010

ps. this entry looks CRAZY because Blogger kind of sucks lately. I will fix it for aesthetics when I get home later later later on.


  1. whoa i had to do a double take cause this post popped up in my rss feed right next to slice reviewing the grandma slice from the same damn place http://slice.seriouseats.com/archives/2010/10/daily-slice-maffei-pizzas-grandma-slice-chelsea-nyc.html (they didnt think it was that great either)