Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Blue Rose Deli: "That's a heavy slice of pizza."

What a terrible shithole. I think after last week I am done eating pizza at "pizza delis" even if they are listed as pizzerias in the phone book. They all have the same crappy mall-pizza consistency and literally 100% of them have sucked. They are not pizzerias, flat out. If I don't go to actual Italian pizzerias because they only serve pies and I'm just doing the good old New Yawk Slice, I don't see why I should eat this crap. It's probably a moot point because I'm getting out of the whole office lunch neighborhood, and frankly, I'm surprised it's taken me so long to put my foot down on this one, but it's over. No mas!

Anyway, that slice looks fucking wretched, huh? It maybe you can't even tell the difference in a photograph, but looking at it and remembering eating it is making me shiver. It was heavy and disgusting. And way too thick.

I'm not sure if the awful, too-thickness is properly communicated in that photo, but it is like, 3/4s of an inch. If there's anything I've learned in my 27 years on this Earth, it's that some things are too thick to want in your mouth. This pizza, for instance. And it's made of such crummy ingredients (future-pun intended, I guess), that when you bite into it the dough instantly dissolves in your mouth in this terribly unpleasant fashion. What a waste! A waste of my time, a waste of food ingredients! Pizza like this is what's ruining America. Well, pizza like this and Walmart, and the Religious Right, and the Prison Industrial Complex, and the Military Industrial Complex. Fuck it, America was ruined from the get go, but at least New York has been pretty cool since day one, and this pizza is ruining New York.
Step 1: New York City secedes from America.
Step 2: We kick out all the yuppies!
Step 3: Only good pizza.
Step 4: Kindly Wizard-King
Step 5: Crimethinc Utopia.


Blue Rose - $2.18
552 8th Avenue (37th & 38th)
New York, NY 10018


Speaking of Crimthinc, I'd like to post about some graffiti!

Even though I'm a Guy On The Internet, inasmuch as a do a moderately popular blog, I am not an Internet Guy in that I don't know about most other stuff on the internet until later. So today was the first time I checked out newyorkshitty.com, which I will probably continue to look at in the future, because it's pretty cool. Anyway, a friend of mine whose name I will not disclose mentioned to me that a piece of graffiti he had written was photographed on New York Shitty, so I went digging deep into the recesses until I found it:

What a beautiful work of art! If any readers see any pizza graffiti or pizza tattoos, please photograph them and either email them to me or post them to the facebook page. I want to start a compendium of all pizza graffiti and tattoos.

And then speaking of graffiti, this is not about pizza, but it is my favorite tag I've ever seen and it got buffed recently. Gaberock took this photo, he is a champion of a man.

R.I.P. Chico Is A Virgin. Maybe our man finally got laid!

1 comment:

  1. Laird of ThornehavenJune 1, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    Oh what a wretched looking slice. Like waking up with cheap bologna on your nose-- so clammy, so cold.