Tuesday, June 8, 2010

La Beleca: "Please put down your haaaaaands. 'Cause I see yoooouuuu."

La Beleca is a real pizzeria. I know I quit going to the "Pizza Delis" and that's a real relief for me, but I'm still traumatized from all that bullshit and going to an actual for really real pizza place was a good healing experience. It also was a very pleasant place to be! There was a soccer game on, not too loud, and a bunch of weird "lonely looking midtown dudes," to quote Eric, who I haven't had the courtesy to introduce to you guys yet! Fuck! Eric is a good friend of my roommate's and a new friend of mine. He has really good Robin Hood facial hair and sings in a "ska band" called the Eskalators with a bunch of other people I know. I say "ska band" in quotes like that because they really are just a super fun band that a bunch of people who knew normally incompatible instruments got together and started. (I think the band was actually originally started with the only rule being that my roommate wasn't allowed to be part of it but ANYONE else could join.) Anyway, they sound less like a ska band and more like Soophie Nun Squad or something. Whatevs. The Eskalators are playing this weekend at a festival Eric and some other people organize every year. It's called Hillstock and my friends Bigger Princess and Jacob the Terrible, as well as a bunch of other friends and a million other bands, are also playing, so go check it out, don't be a turd!

Where was I? La Beleca is cool because there are "lonely midtown dudes" eating lunch which is always a nice weird thing, and then there is also this horseshoe wall of mirrors, so it's like if a vanity filled up three walls worth of mirrors in a room. And so you can watch all the lonely midtown dudes chew their food while you eat! It is so great. I was talking to Eric about how fun it is to make eye contact with strangers in a mirror while you're both eating, which is like a totally unpleasant/totally invigorating experience simultaneously, like doing poppers. Plus, as I was talking about that too loud because I have no sense of propriety sometimes, a bunch of dudes totally started chuckling as our eyes met! It was just a funny experience, alright?! Lay off.

None of that shit would matter if the pizza wasn't totally solid and above average! This slice tastes very unhealthy but it is DELICIOUS. It is really greasy, but the grease is more translucent than orange, which makes me feel pretty good about things. The cheese had a delicious pungent flavor and a perfect stretchy consistency, with just the right amount of resistance and viscosity to stretch out a few inches on each bite but never feel too wet or runny. The sauce wasn't anything special but there was enough of it without being too much and it didn't taste BAD, right? The texture and ratios were pretty much a dream come true! And the crust! THE CRUST! It tasted like the crust had been injected with a syringe full of butter. Like, every time I bit into that crunchy fatty piece of bread it was like butter was squirting into my stupid mouth! C'est magnifique! I don't really know French so that might be wrong! Just go eat the pizza here, okay?!


La Beleca - $2.50
200 West 40th Street (7th & 8th)
New York, NY 10018


  1. What gives, Harvester? You don't love me anymore? Whatever, you still owe me and Mimi a pizza date.

  2. yup, this pizza is top notch. i've worked in the garment district for almost a decade and their pizza (and pastas) are fantastic. good call, sir.