Bella Vita: "

By the time you read this I will be en route to Miami with my buddies Witches from Athens. Probably I will be hanging out in Asheville with JD (who's radio show you should listen to on Wednesday nights), or at least have just been hanging out with JD, the man who introduced me to Lee Moses and my favorite glam rocker in America. Oy. ANYWAY, Bella Vita was my final stop in my pizza day with Jeff Lewis. We were skeptical whether they even served slices, because the place looked like one of those pretend-fancy restaurants that families go to before seeing Cats and eat overpriced pizzeria pasta dishes that cost $18 instead of $7 because some guy in a suit brings them to you. I walked in and inquired, and they did, in fact, serve single slices, so we got one.


We brought our slice over to a counter at a window and sat down to eat. I felt really uncomfortable in this place and I have a hard time pinpointing why, but I just felt unwelcome. The first thing you will notice about this slice is that it has "fresh" mozzarella on it. This bodes well and seems to imply the slice my be delicious, if a little unconventional. But actually Bella Vita serves up a limp piece of crap with mediocre cheese and mediocre sauce. Jeff said, "I think even, like, the ghetto places around my house have a better fresh mozzarella slice." Heave ho!

When we left Bella Vita we saw some posters with Spiderman on them across 43rd Street and decided to investigate. Turns out there is currently a Spiderman musical on Broadway, the title or slogan of which is "Turn Out The Dark". What does that even mean?! I mean, I get what they're going for, but really. Ugh. Think about the fact that a bunch of adults decided that was a good idea. "Turn Out The Dark". Please. If things didn't seem dire enough, it seems the musical was scored by Bono and the Edge. It is a sick fucking world we live in.

Looking at the sign, Jeff said, and I paraphrase because I didn't write this down, "You know, this is kind of like that pizza place. It's like, an image of an image of New York. Spiderman was, for it's time, somewhat gritty. Peter Parker and his grandmother weren't rich, they lived in Forest Hills, and Peter's Spiderman persona was motivated by a desire to avenge his Uncle Ben, who was murdered by a prowler. And here's this Broadway play with music by Bono and the Edge. Despite the fact that Spiderman was for teenagers it wasn't for children. This is not how Spiderman was meant to be. And it's like the place we just went to eat. Like if someone made an Italian restaurant based on and Italian restaurant that was based on a real Italian restaurant. This is not real New York that we're in. We're somewhere else." Jeff, feel free to correct me on that one, because I certain took allowances.

Rating:


Bella Vita - $2.75
211 West 43rd Street (7th & 8th)
New York, NY 10036