Friday, March 26, 2010

Best on 1st: "Weighty accusations were levelled."

Across 57th Street from Ultimate Pizza, on the same side of 1st Ave, is Best Pizza on 1st. As you head E on 57th St, it's impossible to avoid seeing the two restaurants. They're so close together and obviously they're rivals. Cory postulated that Ultimate Pizza was probably there first, and Best Pizza on 1st moved in down the street and was trying to one up their competition. I said, "that is a pretty poor job of one-upsmanship, I mean, Best on 1st just means it's the best pizza on 1st Ave. Now, Ultimate pizza, that is like, the king of all the pizza."
And Cory just goes, "Yeah, but what does 'ultimate' even mean anymore, maaaan?"
You've got to hand it to this guy. That's a persuasive argument.

Now, the slice. While it's definitely better than the crappy slice at Ultimate, it is definitely not the best slice I've had on 1st Ave and far from the best pizzeria experience. (I think both of those honors go to La Mia.) When I folded the slice, it crumbled and broke in half. I looked up at Cory expecting commiseration and he was all, "dude, did you ever think sometimes that maybe that's a problem in your fold?" and gave me the high brow. Woah. I just pretended he didn't say that because we've been friends for so many years I wouldn't want to have to kick his scrawny ass. But seriously. Wow. I don't know if I've ever been more greatly betrayed by another human being than in that moment. I have been more betrayed by an animal AND by a plant! One time this horse ratted me out for selling acid, and another time I was in love with a Hyacinth, but then it turned out he was also seeing Johnny No Pants the whole time and didn't tell me and Johnny thought I knew, and didn't want to bring up that we were both hanging out with the same plant because, why bring it up, but yeah, that Hyacinth really fucking broke my heart, man. I think it was Gwen Stephanie who said, "'Tis better to have loved and lost, or whatever." In summation, the name of this establishment is probably part of an elaborate Abbot and Costello routine and not a literal statement of fact.


Best on 1st - $2.50
1038 1st Avenue
New York, NY 10022

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