Friday, November 12, 2010

Gaslight Pizzeria: "I'm a superstar in a superstar machine."

I recently made plans to eat pizza with my buddy Laszlo Toth, who is the awesomest guy. He is the former Mayor of Kansas City and one of the funniest people I know. I was really excited about that, and then I got a text message from my friend Eric Day, who is a rad old friend of mine who has left town long ago, saying he was around for a couple of days and what was I doing? So then he came and ate pizza too! Eric was a bike messenger when I was a "bike messenger" and he was willing to be friends with me anyway despite the rigid social structures of the messenger community that penalize Poserdom.

Laszlo and Eric are two of America's handsomest men.
Our first stop was Gaslight Pizzeria, which is apparently some kind of arm of the Gaslight Lounge, a horrible seeming yuppie nightclub that we almost walked into by accident. The Meatpacking District is a weird shitty place these days, and is a far cry from the weird wild zone it was when I used to go visit my uncle in that neighborhood when I was a kid. I guess I've heard about this before, but I have no cause to ever really be in the neighborhood. But it really is as bad as everyone says! Like, only Bummer Yuppies and Bridge and Tunnel Goons with Tribal Tats and Bloomin' Onion haircuts. And Gaslight fits right in!

I don't really trust a pizzeria that has "Salmon Crudo" or "Pan Seared Sesame Tuna" as the first two items on the "APPETIZERS" list. Fuck. Not to mention, this slice is $3.00 and is terrible.

This pizza sucks. Laszlo said, "just by looking at this, I know it's gonna give me heartburn." The whole slice was undercooked and the sauce tasted like it came from a jar. The cheese was okay, but couldn't save this crappy slice from sucking total shit. Eric said it tasted like Junior High School lunchroom pizza, or Stoeffer's. I think Stoeffer's is way better. This place is a fucking bummer. And $3.00? Fuck You. For $3.00 I want organic tomatoes and breastmilk cheese.


Gaslight Pizzeria - $3.00
400 W 14th St (Greenwich & Washington)
New York, NY 10014


  1. The best comment in the entire Lazlo Letters book was to McDonald's: "I see where you're up to 10 Billion hamburgers sold. How many more do you have to go? Stand by our President! Your friend, Lazlo Toth"

  2. 2 bros pizza rap vol 2.

    when you work at 2 brothers pizza place, no one will look you in the face, like the second rate mc that they call mase, the slice is nasty and its got no taste. i ate this pizza 6 times before, but when i finish each slice i say no more, until i get drunk and fall on the floor reach in my pocket, how many quarters i got? 1 2 3 FOUR!!! awwwww fuck