Village Pizza: "Too bad."

For a hot minute I was working as a fancy waiter at a fancy restaurant in the Meatpacking District. My friend who got me the job said it was easy money, but I have never really felt more dehumanized in my life. Like, there is this thing, I think, where the mega-rich pay the people who serve them to not be people anymore, and that's fair if it's something they are comfortable with, but I don't like it. After one particularly horrible brunch shift surrounded by entitled dickbags and their bratty children I was kvetching to a friend of mine about it and she was like, "yeah, I have done like, so much sex work, and high end waitering is definitely the most demeaning job I've ever had."

Anyway, every time I went to that shitty place, (which was honestly only like, 7 times, I quit after a week) I would walk by Village Pizza and think, "Goddamn, this place looks good! I can't wait until I get down here with Slice Harvester!" But on further investigation, I think it doesn't look good, so much as it looks old and kind of ratty, which is obviously something I am fond of.

This slice looked like a not wonderful, but hopefully alright slice. And the inside of the shop was awesome! When I was in there, the three totally butch dudes behind the counter and these two construction workers were singing along with Holiday by Madonna! It was like a scene from Querelle or the beginning of a Tom of Finland cartoon about what happens when you move to the Village. So Rad!

Anyway, the pizza was not so good. "It's maybe just a tad saucy," said Eric, upon his first bite. On his second he said, "that's very mediocre." Laszlo pointed out that the cheese was really terrible quality and added an absolutely horrendous flavor to the slice, which was totally true. The crust was REALLY good, and the sauce tasted alright, even if there was too much of it. Ultimately, if they could get their ratios down better and would spring for some decent cheese, this slice might be a total stud, but right now it's a total dud.

Rating:


Village Pizza - $2.50
65 8th Ave (13th & 14th)
New York, NY 10014