Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tony's House of Pizza: "Great name, terrible slice."


Tony's House of Pizza! On the internet phonebook listing, this place is labeled "Tony's for Brothers" and I thought maybe it was a pizzeria that was only for Jesuit Monks. And perhaps that used to be the name, and this place was a haven for wizened holy men once upon a time. But nowadays "Tony's House of Pizza" is a den of iniquity, where the back room is full of children discussing elaborate sex acts in a way that made me very uncomfortable.


I wanted to like this slice, because I liked the scrappy quality of the place, and I liked the name. It was glaringly apparent from the very first bite that I wouldn't like this slice, but by the third bite I had skipped right past not like and landed straight in dislike. Seriously, there was something so disgusting about this piece of pizza. It was just overwhelmingly bad. It was cooked okay, and the ratios were, in the parlance of our times, aight, but there was this weird synthetic grease flavor that pervaded every bite and made everything so disgusting and unpleasant! Fuck, too bad.

Rating:


Tony's House of Pizza - $2.25
347 1st Ave (20th & 21st)
New York, NY 10010

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