Monday, April 19, 2010

Ambrosia: "If this is Ambrosia, then there are no Gods."

Thus we begin the period where I almost faltered. If in the future, after Godzilla returns to rightfully reclaim the Earth and some humans are driven underground where they live for centuries, slowly losing track of their history and humanity like in that one movie about dragons with shitty Matthew McConaughey but then eventually the dinosaurs all die from smoking too much weed and humans start to venture out and all of civilization has been destroyed and they're trying to piece it back from the ruins and the only thing that exists, by divine will of the Great Pizzaola, is a few charred and frayed copies of Slice Harvester magazine, and I am heralded as some kind of prophet or God-figure, Nate Stark will be exalted as a Saint.

When St. Stark, Cory and I turned the corner onto 45th Street from 5th Ave we were immediately confronted by a horrid looking cafeteria with the word "PIZZA" shining deviously through it's window in neon like a cat's eyes at night. "Let's skip this place," was my suggestion.
"Yeah, fuck it." Cory was in.
Nate tried to interject, "But why? No... Let's go, we gotta do it!"
But Cory and I had already begun to stroll on. The next place we passed, like, two storefronts down, was called Milk and Honey and was a Kosher pizza parlor. And then across the street we noticed MetroMix deli with a huge neon pizza sign. We had entered hell. I suggested to everyone that we just skip this block and I would do it next week. But Nate was steadfast in his refusal. Finally, he just started to walk into Ambrosia and saying, "well, I'm gonna get a slice." Cory and I followed obediently.

At this point, I will defer to Nate's notes, because at a certain juncture I walked away to go take a dump upstairs (subpar toilet paper) and told him to finish notetaking for me. Here is what he had to say:
  • Pizza Purgatory
  • Doughy
  • Hard, Plastic-like cheese
  • Sweet crust - Amebix, Discharge
  • Least bad of all the bad slices
  • Too many beverages + chips
  • No Hot Chicks
And I think that pretty much sums it up.


Ambrosia - $2.75
8 West 45th Street
New York, NY 10036

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