Sunday, April 11, 2010

Bella Luna Pizza: "I think this might be worse than the last one."


Bella Luna is weird. There was no one in there, because most people are not into punishing themselves. And nor am I, but a life of trial is the life I've been alotted. I'm like that character Job from mythology, but I am living the allegorical story! The Great Pizzaola (praise be unto she!) has inflicted me with a cursed quest. I know the many obstacles she places before me are just tests of my faith. And so it was with Bella Luna.


This is actually, maybe, actually, for real probably the worst slice of pizza I've ever had. I actually spit some of it out of my mouth into a napkin. I have NEVER EVER done that at another pizzeria, not just in the 250ish pizzerias I've eaten at on the pizza mission, but also EVERY SINGLE slice of dumpstered and purchased pizza I've ever consumed. I don't think there's once been an instance where I couldn't just choke it down. But this slice! I spit part of this slice out, may She forgive me.

The dough had no flavor, nor did the cheese, though they both had uniquely unpleasant textures. The sauce tasted kind of like really old horrible dollar store ketchup. Like, I've never traveled with ketchup but imagine if some oogle had some ketchup in his backpack that he got at Dollar Tree in El Paso and he kept the bottle with him for the three weeks it took him to get to Tompkins Square Park. And then imagine if he poured that ketchup onto the piece of cardboard he had been sleeping on for a few weeks and then melted some plastic over that. Because that's what this slice was like. Ugh.

Rating:


Bella Luna - $2.50
226 East 45th Street
New York, NY 10017

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