You can't tell, but that neon sign in the window says Hot Heros, which is coincidentally also the name of me and Cory's "independent film."
La Bellezza Pizzeria looked more promising than most of the places in the neighborhood. A lot of them look like weird franchises or like, total strange yuppie-lunch territory. This place at least looked like a pizzeria, kind of. So that was potentially exciting. I wasn't overcome with dread walking inside.
But oh boy, what terrible pizza! Jesse took her first bite and said, "This doesn't taste like anything!" Then after a few moments of rumination she just muttered, "this is heinous, dude." The slice is floppy and insubstantial. It totally crumbles in a crappy way. The cheese is total dirt and doesn't even have a flavor, so what you've got is bad texture, crappy cheese mush, and then the taste of the shitty, sweet sauce, which barely tastes like anything, either! Becca is a vegan, so she didn't taste the pizza, but she is a Certified Crust Expert. She had a bite of the crust and she said it was terribly dry! This slice has nothing going it. This is like, the anti-pizza. I think it probably has something to do with the Large Hadron Collider facilitating the apocalypse. This is a piece to the puzzle, dude.
La Bellezza Pizzeria - $2.75
145 E 49th St
New York, NY 10022
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