Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Cafe Metro: "People who eat here probably don't even enjoy masturbating."

Oh, boy. What a horrid place. I'm starting to forget what I've just talked about drinking coffee with my friends and what I've talked about on this blog, so maybe this is a rehash. I joke about the Capitalist Death Culture and how it is sucking the joy out of our lives, but really, this place is disgusting. This place is like a math project some 7th grader is doing about "running a business" or something. Like, can you make this pizza place float on paper? Let's see how well you can balance a checkbook! You know what I'm trying to say? It's all about the bottom line. It's all about profit margins. There is no love in this business and no love in this food. This is a sham. This is food for people who hate food. Now I remember, I did talk about this. I am angry and ashamed to live in a culture that can suck the joy and pleasure out of anything. It is totally horrid. Fuck the American Death Cult that leads to places like Cafe Metro existing. And fuck Cafe Metro for perpetuating this rotten state of affairs. If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem. People owe it to themselves and each other to start enjoying their lives a little more. I am really mad right now.

This slice is better than this place would make it seem, but ultimately no good. The grease had a nice bite to it, and the cheese had a pleasant tang, but this bullshit slab of crap was a totally undercooked Dead Skin Mask atop some of the blandest dough I've ever had. Not to mention it cost $3.25 which is an affront to the Great Pizzaola. I haven't decided how many slices I'm giving this fucker, but I know it's getting one less than it would've on merit alone because of the ridiculous price. Fuck a bunch of this crap.


Cafe Metro - $3.25
14 East 42nd Street (5th & Madison)
New York, NY 10017

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