Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Metro Market: "Really, this is the worst block for pizza in the entire city, thus far."

Once Nate got us going eating at all these shithole "pizza places" it kind of became fun, like some kind of sick endurance challenge or something. Metro Market looked totally crappy right off the bat. Terrible atmosphere, probably caters to the most soulless of the Soulless Midtown Lunch crowd, people for which eating is a chore, rather than a pleasure. The worst kind of unsatisfied boring people. If I were most generous I would pity them, but I am no longer an idealistic youngster. These fools dug their own graves.

ANYWAY, the pizza. Totally horrible. It was tiny, had no sauce, and the cheese was hell of weird. The dough was gritty, it felt like eating something that was meant for exfoliating my hands. This pizza tasted like it was from outta town. Totally terrible.

And while I'm giving this shitty slice it's just desserts (speaking of which, they had some excellent looking cookies in the front of this place!), I'd like to address a certain anonymous cretin who criticized me on Monday with the indictment that I "don't like any pizza ever."

Where to begin? First of all, this comment could not have come at a more idiotic time. For one thing, that review wasn't even really written by me! It was written by Pizza Saint and alleged King of the Hipsters, my man Nate Stark aka Bent Outta Nate aka Ironman Nate Starks. And furthermore, just ONE REVIEW PRIOR to that one, I absolutely LOVED the slice I ate! Where does this buffoon get off?! If you're going to level such a weighty criticism at me, at least let it be grounded in something.


Metro Market - $2.99
19 W 45th St
New York, NY 10036

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