Monday, April 12, 2010

Jianetto's: "What do you expect from a pizza truck?"

Last week I ate pizza with Nate Stark (for the first time) and Cory (again). Me and Nate get along because we are both loathsome dickheads. Nate is from the East Bay but has none of the West Coast Positivity one might associate with that region. When we stand next to each other on the street there is a lot of gesturing with just the chin while nonchalantly smoking and saying shit like, "look at that fucking guy? Who the fuck do these people think they are going out in public like that?" We are both judgmental assholes and it comforts me to share that with someone who understands.

Last week, Jesse, Becca and I tried to find this pizza truck with no luck. However, Nate, Cory and I found it successfully this time. I think when me and the ladies went last week it was maybe on a weekend and it was maybe late evening, to boot. Anyway, look at this truck! Nate and Cory's band Stupid Party came back from SXSW and were the millionth people to tell me about Death Metal Pizza in Austin (not their fault, I have yet to write about it), but Cory also dropped some crazy news on me, which is that he thinks that while drunk he ate pizza from a truck. Pressed for details he couldn't remember a damn thing, but to me it seemed so impressive that someone could be trapped in a truck with a pizza oven in the Texas heat. That's gotta be torture! Whatever, it was a brisk Spring day when me and these dudes ate at Jianetto's Pizza Truck, so no one felt especially badly for the pizzaman. I felt a little badly for us when we got our slice, though.

This is some bullshit. The cheese is on the bottom, with the sauce on top and then some non-consensual parmigiana sprinkled all over that. This slice was not nearly hot enough and was way too soupy. I think just about everyone spilled some damn tomato crap on themselves. And the sauce tasted like when I get lazy in the summer time and make gazpacho out of canned tomatoes instead of fresh. Of the sauce, Nate says, "it really tastes like it came from Goya. I'm surprised there's not a carrot and a pea in it." Despite the lengthy criticism, everyone was pretty happy with their experience eating this thing. It was really delicious and thinking about it is making me hungry. BUT! It's not pizza. Sorry, Jianetto's, but you serve some kind of pizza-style food.

Rating: Not Pizza.

Jianetto's - $2.75
E 47th St btw. Park and Madison
New York, NY 10017


  1. I just want to say that, since I found out about and started reading this blog (about a few weeks ago?), I now have a never-ending craving for pizza. Thank you!!
    PS. I am likely to visit NYC in the next few months. If I email you, will you recommend me some good pizza places to go to?

  2. yo yo slice of heaven i want a better rating system....keep of the good work................

  3. Min: of course I will recommend slices if you email me.

    Anon: I was talking about this same notion with my friend Jeff Lewis yesterday. I will institute a rating system from here on out, but it will be a while before I go through the "back-catalog" and rate all those.